Getting Tired of Beautiful and Special Things

I don’t know about you, but I can get tired of even the most beautiful and special things. I think this is probably true for most people.

I’ve lived in beautiful places like Boulder and Vail in Colorado, both of which I appreciated less over time. I’ve taken truly special photos, put them on my phone as the background, and gotten tired of them. I’ve made awesome art I loved and grew less fond of it, and seen amazing, historically important art in museums that started to bore me over time. I’ve listened to great music too much and cared for it less and less. You get the drift.

This is why I think differently when I see houses by the beach, or in the mountains, or some other amazing place. I’ve realized, yes, it would be great to live there for a while, but I would not want to live there for the rest of my life, or even for too many months or years. So I would not want to pay the high premiums people pay for houses in those places! For the same reasons, I avoid collecting expensive art, as I would get tired of it so quickly.

This line of thinking also probably implies I would get tired of being wealthy!

The thoughts in this post are yet more arguments for variety. And when you think about variety for a while, you’ll probably realize what you want is sustainable variety. At least that’s what I realized. This means finding ways of living over weeks, and months, and years, that give you variety you don’t get tired of! I don’t want kinds of variety that are like beautiful and special things that I get tired of. I want varieties of variety, and I want that to be sustainable, so I stay engaged and have the potential to keep being engaged. I think probably one of the best ways to get sustainable variety is to also pursue sustainable proximities. I think the two go together. Although that’s another topic, for now, here’s more on what I call the sustainable proximities approach.

If some of this rings true, you might be a bit of a variety person. Check out a project I started called varietypeople.org, where anyone can post their own thoughts, wishes and experiences, comment on the posts of others, and share ideas, events, resources and opportunities for other variety people. You might want to join us.

Zen: Mutual Arising of Opposites a Powerful Idea

(r] davidloughry.com

The mutual arising of opposites is one of the more powerful ideas I’ve come across. I first heard it in talks by Alan Watts about Zen on KPFK in Los Angeles.

The mutual arising of opposites implies many things. It means the pairs mentioned below arise together, which can be incredibly calming. It means you gain both at the same time. It lets you slip into and out of time at the same time! Funny! And other things too.

Some mutually arising pairs: Chaos and order. Breathing poorly and breathing well. Fairness and unfairness. Stillness and busyness. Sense and nonsense. Invoke one and you also get the other. So don’t be afraid of either. They come together. Embrace both.

This also helps solve the problem of not having enough time. Accept you don’t have time, and you have time.

More mutually arising opposites pairs: Starting over and moving ahead. Fear and courage. Motion and stillness. Perfection and imperfection. Wealth and poverty. Near and far. Now and not now. Tension and relaxation. Organization and disorganization. Fullness and emptiness. Good posture and bad posture. Good grammar and bad. It’s a constant dance between these pairs. To experience one you need the other. It’s an oscillation. The faster the oscillation, or perhaps the more entangled they are, the more magic.

The only danger perhaps is getting stuck on one of a pair of mutual arising opposites. I guess the trick to getting unstuck might be to remember that if you have one of a pair, you have the opposite as well, and to increase the oscillation or entanglement.

I think mutual arising is one reason I liked skiing so much. You are constantly playing with, and on the brink of, disaster and control. And why I needed to quit for a while – it had become too predictable.

~ Proxri Deal: As you find our relationship rewarding, proxri with the proximity in mind. ~