Here are my reviews of “North by Northwest” (the Hitchcock film).

Negative: Implausibility heaped upon implausibility.

Positive: Eva Marie Saint is hot.

Neutral: A fine film.

Mixed: Combine the above into one sentence. I can’t be bothered.

Nasty: Formulaic and overly stylized.

Enthusiastic: Full of brio and charm.

It’s much more fun to write several conflicting reviews. Isn’t that how we think, anyway?